Forgotten Conversations
by PKLizzard
Summary: A series of one-shots that fill in the holes that couldn't fit in an hour long episode.
1. Author's Note

**Welcome!**

 **So I have a bunch of one shot stories that I don't really want to publish separately because, well that doesn't make sense. So instead I'm combining them into one big multi-chapter fic. They don't have anything to do with each other. they're are simply one shots that fill in the blanks. I hope you enjoy and don't forget to review. Furthermore, if you have a good idea for a one shot, feel free to leave it in the reviews and I will attempt to write it for you.**

 **Also note the rating is starting out K+ but is subject to go up as time goes on.**


	2. Post 7-11

It was pushing on midnight when Meredith got home from her outing with Cristina. Derek had already showered and gotten ready for bed but had waited up for Meredith.

"Hey" He whispered as she came in the bedroom. She jumped a little.

"Hey...you're up." She whispered back.

"Yeah I..." He paused thinking about the best way to go about the subjects at hand. He didn't want to start out to heavy for fear of her shutting down. "How's Cristina?" It seemed like a relatively safe topic and a good lead in to her issues.

"She's okay...I think I don't know. I said that after she saved your life and she ended up having a breakdown." Meredith sighed as she pulled off her pants in exchange for sweats. "I don't know, we'll see I guess."

"Where'd you guys go?" He really hoped that hadn't gone for a drink. Not that he would blame her after today, but it would really mess up this cycle of Project Baby.

"She dragged me to the mall. Surprisingly it was fun." She finished changing and she threw her dirty clothes in the hamper before going into the bathroom. As she turned on the light in the bathroom it allowed him to get a good look at her.

"You cut your hair." He observed a little bit surprised by the spontinuity of it. He climbed out of bed so he could get a better look.

"Oh yeah...you like it?" He stood behind her at the sink as she started to brush her teeth, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I love it." He said kissing the side of her head. "You know what this means right?" He whispered in her ear.

"What?" She giggled spitting into the sink.

"I'm going to have to take you out to a fancy dinner so I can see you in a pretty dress with your new hair and then I can take you home and take off the pretty dress so I can just admire the hair" He breathed huskily in her ear.

"Mmm I think I like that idea" She said spinning around in his arms to face him.

"It's a date." He promised, sealing the deal with a kiss. "Come on lets go to bed." He guided her out of the room by the waist, turning off the bathroom light. They climbed into bed on their respective sides, before he wrapped his arms around her waist pulling her back to his chest, and she turned in his grasp and rested her head on his chest. It was quiet for a minute until Meredith broke the silence.

"What'd you do while I was out?"

"I made myself some pasta, which I'm sure the roommates have devoured by now, and I did some research for the trial and I worried about you."

"Why were you worried about me?" She knew why, it was just easier to have him lead the conversation.

"Well partially because I was doing Alzheimer's research and that was slightly scary, but mostly because you admitted to telling a shooter to shoot you in front of an entire OR." He said running his hand up and down her back in attempt to keep her calm.

"Yeah..." She sighed. "Was kinda hoping you forgot about that." Derek chuckled.

"That's a little hard to forget." Then in a more serious tone. "You told a shooter to shoot you?"

"Yeah, I did." He voice was barely audible.

"What were you thinking?" His voice rose along with his anger towards her willingness to give up her life.

"In the moment I was more on autopilot." Her voice was soft in recalling those moments." But before, he was threatening to shoot Hunt, then Cristina, then you. The way I saw it, he just wanted revenge on you, an eye for an eye, his words not mine, and I was perfect revenge." Derek relaxed a little when he realized that this was Meredith trying to be noble not giving up when things got rough like she would have not so long ago.

"That's how you lost the baby, isn't it? I mean that whole thing was really stressful, but that was the breaking point." Derek concluded, absentmindedly running his fingers through her hair.

"Yeah I...I think it was." Meredith whispered. She closed her eyes in attempts to stifle the tears flowing from her eyes. Derek knew he had hit the right spot to break the dam. He hated seeing her cry, especially when he had something to do with it, but he also knew this is what she needed.

"Shh, it's okay, I got you." He whispered, tightening his grip on her. He hated that it took him six months and her finally breaking down in the OR just to realize how much she hurt. Her shoulders shook with sobs and his t-shirt was getting damp but all he cared about was being strong for her. He'd had his moments of weakness. He'd cried over the events of the shooting and had his nightmares. After she confessed the miscarriage he'd cried. Through his tears he'd asked if she was okay and she'd simply nodded saying she'd cried enough.

As he sat up against the headboard and pulled her into his lap and rocked her back in forth when the sobbing didn't show any signs of slowing down, something clicked. She'd avoided. She'd buried herself in other people's problems, like his recovery and Cristina's emotional trauma. And when Cristina had yelled at her and alienated her the dam had started to crack so she'd turned to him. But then he'd made it his personal mission to help Cristina and the dam now had a massive hole and she had no one because they were all wrapped up in their own mess. And some suicidal college student had shot his innocent classmates and she'd found herself relating the wife of their patient and her sense of helplessness. Meredith had tried to help her and give her some sense of power and comfort. And Derek had called her names and questioned her motives and the dam had burst and she'd lost it.

When Derek had finally turned around and saw the mess that was his wife, he felt like an ass. He and Cristina had walked all over and had compared their problems to hers and because they were so wrapped up in their own little worlds, they hadn't seen how big her problems were. And when Meredith finally fell asleep Derek would call Cristina and tell her that because they owed it to Meredith to fix this and make it up to her.

Because it's better late than never.


	3. Post 6-4

I turned my neck side to side in attempts to rid it of the crick that had refused to vacate after my night on the uncomfortable couch in Meredith's room. Lexie had paged me while I was on rounds, telling me Meredith was awake. I had wanted to be there when she woke up but I was saving my rather meager amount of vacation days for when she was released from the hospital. Plus I had tomorrow off which I fully planned on spending with her. After we had finished rounding on my final patient, I had a chance to glance at my watch. I had two hours before I had to be in surgery which meant I had an hour and a half to be with Meredith. I quickly made my way to Meredith's room. I couldn't help the smile that crossed my face when I heard soft snoring as I opened the door.

"Hey." I whispered to Lexie. "You can go check on Thatcher. I'll be here " Lexie nodded and immediately scurried out of the room. I sat down in the chair beside Meredith's bed and began to sign off on charts, absentmindedly rubbing her arm. It wasn't long before Meredith began to stir. I closed the chart in my hand and placed it on the floor.I turned back to her right as her eyes fluttered open.

"Hey" She whispered, her voice hoarse with exhaustion.

"Good morning sleepyhead." I smiled grabbing her hand and stroking her knuckles with my thumb.

"You try staying awake with half a liver." She teased lightly.

"I'll pass thanks." I chuckled."How are you feeling?"

"Mmm sore and tired." She said closing her eyes for a second, then yawning.

"That's normal." I said more for my own benefit than hers.

"I don't care. I don't like it." She mumbled, opening her eyes to glare at me.

"Well then." I stood up and wiggled out of my labcoat. "Let me make it a little more bearable." I kicked my shoes off, as she slid over in bed. I climbed in, settling in the little space provided in the uncomfortable hospital bed.

"Mmm Dr. Shepherd. Do you do this with all your patients?" She whispered settling her head on my chest, as I carefully laid my arm across her chest.

"No just the really pretty ones." I whispered. She opened her mouth to protest but instead of words, came a yawn. "Shh go to sleep" I told her, running my fingers through her hair. And she did. I knew that I really wouldn't want to move in an hour but in that moment it didn't matter.


	4. Day After 4-11

I'd heard about Derek's dinner date with the scrub nurse before I'd even set foot on the surgical floor. The looks and the whispers, that weren't really whispers, were hard to miss. By the time I'd made it to the locker room I'd pieced together the whole story.

Derek had gone on a date.

Her name was Rose, she was a scrub nurse.

They'd had a good time, they'd been making plans to do it again when they'd been spotted at the coffee cart this morning.

But these facts left everyone wondering about me. So I kept my head high and went about my day. If I'd learned anything about hospital gossip, it was that if you showed weakness it would be twisted into an entirely new rumor. Although I had no doubt there were plenty of rumors about me now. I made it to the residents locker room and couldn't help the sigh of relief when the door shut behind me and there were no prying eyes. I was even more relieved when it was just Cristina and Alex, no Izzie and/or George with their desire to talk about feelings.

"Oh thank God it's just you guys" I sat down on the bench and began to undo my shoes.

"Are you okay?" Alex asked with little sincerity. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Do you actually care or are you trying to win the pool over when I snap?" I glared at him. He shrugged noncommittally. Cristina sniggered in the background. "Alright if I tell you and you win, cut me in for half." I offered sticking my hand out

"Deal" Alex leaned across from the other bench and shook my hand.

"Okay so first round at Joe's is on us tonight. I'm okay now but will definitely need a drink tonight. Joe's at 8?" Cristina and Alex nodded as I finished changing. As I was about to leave the door opened revealing Dr. Bailey.

"Glad some people around here have work ethic around here." Bailey muttered before dishing out assignments. "Karev Hahn, Yang Shepherd, Grey pit. Assign two interns take the rest." And with that the Nazi was gone. I quickly made my way down to the pit, taking George ans my only other semi-competent intern, Dr. Weils. I took the stairs and divvied up the charts to the interns who set to work. I sat behind the nurses station signing off on charts, filling out charts and monitoring the interns. I was ready for a relatively easy day of avoiding Derek. That was until the nurse announced an incoming MVC.

"Dr. Wellis incoming trauma lets go." I called. I would've preferred George but he was needle deep in some guys forehead. We meet the ambulance decked out in full trauma gear. An EMT hoppd out of the ambulance rattling off stats.

"Craig Heaton, 38, lost control of his car and hit the guardrail. Unconscious upon arrival but since then has regained consciousness with a GCS of 11. Also trauma to the chest. Old car no airbags." I sighed inwardly. Head trauma, so much for avoiding Derek. Immediately I began rattling off orders.

"Page Shepherd and Hahn. Dr. Wellis start an IV and leads. I need a chest x-ray, Narcan and a suture kit." Everyone sprang into action as I checked his pupil reactivity and felt for skull fractures. Dr. Wellis rattled off vitals and a tech came in with the portable x-ray. X-rays are taken and the intern is suturing when Dr. Hahs arrives with Alex in tow.

"What do we have Grey?" Hahn asked while donning her stethoscope.

"MVC no airbags. Bruising in the chest area. Films should be here any second. Stable heart rate equal breath sounds, but slight congestion. Bloodwork was sent down to check for a cold. Thought you might want to give him a once over." As if on cue a nurse appeared with a manila envelope. Alex put the scans on the light board while Hahn listened to his breathing.

"Good call Grey, but I would say it's just a bad cold and there are no rib fractures which is good. Just keep an eye on his breathing." Hahn signed off on the chart before handing it back. Just as she left Derek flounced in with a smug expression that made me want to cry and puke. Cristina however had a permanent scowl. I didn't even bother with formalities.

"Male 38 MVC, hit a tree and head went into the windshield. Came in with a GCS of 11 was unconscious but has regained some consciousness and has been semi responsive. Pupils are equal and clear and no blood in the ears." Cristina began doing a neuro exam while Derek examined the guy's skull.

"Who did the sutures?" Derek asked.

"That was me." Dr. Wellis spoke timidly from the corner.

"Excellent job." Derek praised. "I'm feeling a skull fracture so lets get him up to CT and if it's surgical you can scrub in and observe." Dr. Wellis looked at me for consent and I nodded.

"CT is waiting for you." I said signing off on the chart and handing it over to Cristina. Derek barely gave me a second glance and Cristina rolled her eyes. However before it could get any more awkward, George ran through the door.

"Dr. Grey we need you. We uh...have another emergency." He panted, eyeing each occupant of the small trauma room. I stripped off my gown and gloves and followed George back into the main ER not bothering to look back at the trauma room. I didn't have time because the ear piercing shrieks of a child grabbed my attention before any of thee rest of it. I swiftly made my way to Curtain 4 where George began filling me in.

"Tyler Ranker, age 6, neighbor called 911 reporting screaming. He was found to have poured a pot of boiling water. We haven't been able to contact the parents."" George finished and my attention turned to the boy in front of me. He had severe burns all over his front torso My breath caught in my throat and I hesitated before barking out orders.

"Page Sloan. Get him started on IV antibiotics and morphine. Do not sedate him or restrain him it will only make it worse. Someone try pulling up his file. I need vitals and blood work. Lets move people!" Suddenly the area becomes abuzz with activity. Tyler stops wailing long enough to take in the situation around him. I grabbed the opportunity and sat down on the small rolling stool.

"Tyler my name is Meredith,and these are my helpers," Everyone around me paused to shoot the kid a sympathetic smile. "And our job is to help you feel better. So can you tell me your parent's names so we can call them?" Immediately the kid burst into tears.

"No no, don't call my daddy! He'll be mad, he has an important meeting." I shot George a look and he made a note in the chart, probably for social services.

"Okay okay," I placated "What about your mommy?" Tyler looked like he'd seen a ghost.

"She got really sick, then Daddy said she went away." His lower lip trembled and my heart ached. Luckily Mark showed up before I could find any more similarities between my childhood and Tyler's. While Mark looked over Tyler, a nurse brought over a rolling computer station.

"Dr. Grey we found Tyler's chart. All the contact information is in there." I gave the chart a quick once over. I recognized the name Steven Ranker, he was a business bigwig who one would find on Wall Street not Seattle. Mark came up behind me.

"Kid's definitely gonna need surgery. Did you find the parents?" He asked looking over my shoulder at the computer.

"Yeah" I mumbled.

"Do you want to call him or should I?"Mark's voice softened considerably.

"I got it." I said quietly, not quite sure where the offer came from.

* * *

I trudged in to the cafeteria about ready to just collapse into a puddle of self pity. I could practically hear my mother in the background repeating Mr. Ranker's words about the "stupidity and unfocus" of that child. Not once did I actually hear him refer to his child by his name. My thoughts dug themselves into a deeper darker hole as I grabbed a tuna sandwich and dropped into a chair at a table with Cristian and Izzie. Cristian immediately erupted into a full blown rant.

"Can you kiss a guy in front of Shepherd? Because like seriously he keeps asking me if you're okay and want to know all about your feelings. Like a quick peck on the cheek just show him you're an independent human being or whatever, because I am so done."

"Cristian I went to med school not drama school." I retorted, picking at my sandwich.

"You okay?" Izzie asked giving me a sideways look.

"Just peachy because you know my patient has the exact same childhood I had except for he's male but he could be a good dammed parrot for all his father cared so you know just dandy." I muttered bitterly. "Iz we're going to Joe's tonight, 8 o'clock." With that I stood up and grabbed my sandwich with Cristina and Izzie exchanging concerned looks behind me.

* * *

I don't know how I ended up on the psych floor but I did. My shift was over and I should've been of to Joe's. But suddenly I was staring at two double doors contemplating my options. I was broken, there was no questioning it. Simply reading psych books with Cristina wouldn't fix anything. But walking through those double doors would go against everything I was raised to believe in. Walking through those double doors would mean asking for help and that made me weak. But that also made me like my mother.

And without another thought, I pushed through the doors.


	5. Post 6-6

Something was up with Derek, it was plainly obvious to Meredith. The hard part is that she was to exhausted and sore to figure it out. He'd been quiet and brooding all the way home from the hospital and not nearly as hovery as she'd been expecting. It's not that he wasn't hovery, every time she'd whimper or gasp in pain he would squeeze her hand and give her a concerned look, but he wasn't asking if she was okay every five minutes or doing other Derek-like worrying things. But as they pulled into the driveway he had pulled himself out of his head and before she managed to wiggle out of her seatbelt, he was opening her door and gingerly helping her out of the car. Derek swung the bags over his shoulder and gently wrapped his arm around Meredith, letting her lean most of her weight on him. He guided her into the house and helped her out of her jacket before quickly sliding out of his jacket and scooping Meredith up.

"What are you doing!" She yelped as he made his way to the stairs with her clutching his sweater tightly.

"Bailey said no strenuous activity." He said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world. Meredith sighed dramatically but put her head on his shoulder and let him carry her. He gently set her down on the bed and she winced as she settled. Derek helped, propping her up on the pillows and handing her some water and painkillers. He grabbed a set of pajamas for Meredith and gingerly helped her into them while she tried really hard not to cry. After he was done Derek precariously balanced on the side of the bed next to Meredith. "It's really bad huh?" He said softly while brushing the hair from her face. She nodded and took a deep breath.

"It was better with the constant morphine and limited movement. Now I feel like I've run a freaking marathon." She said laying back against the pillow and staring off at some point to Derek's left. He pulled the covers around her and gently pecked her forehead.

"Well then I should let you get some sleep then."

"Wait!" She grabbed his wrist before hissing in pain. At least she had his undivided attention now. "Will you tell me what's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong. I'm fine." Derek placated before standing up to grab his own sleepwear.

"See I'd believe you except for the "fine" part." Derek climbed into bed and kissed her cheek.

"Honestly Meredith, it's not a big deal." He said. "Just go to sleep."

"No." She replied stubbornly crossing her arms over her chest. Derek chuckled and rolled his eyes.

"You're so stubborn. Unfortunately I think the painkillers have the upper hand." Meredith held her ground.

"I refuse to sleep until you tell me what's wrong." Derek sighed and looped his arm around her shoulder,giving in more for her benefit than his.

"There was a patient in the ER tonight who died of smoke inhalation." Derek began."One of the Mercy Westers, Kepner I think, forgot to check her throat and from there it just went downhill. By the time we had to call it, nobody knew who the patient belonged to. It was utter chaos and Richard had this whole investigation thing going on. Kepner got fired but honestly I think it was just the chaos not Kepner." Derek sighed and Meredith rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry you had a bad night." She whispered blinking heavily.

"I called Richard out. I accused him of letting this place fall apart." Derek whispered back.

"Well because you're an awesome husband you don't have to deal with him for four days." Meredith yawned. "And that gives me four days to be a little less exhausted and high so I can help." She giggled tiredly.

"Go to sleep Mer, we'll talk more tomorrow."

"He suppressed the urge to laugh when the end of his sentence was cut off by a loud snore.


	6. Early Season 5

Meredith sat hunched on the toilet with her arms wrapped around her midsection. She could see the box of tampons sticking out of the cabinet, but she'd rather wallow in her misery and ignore the fact that her uterus was slowly dying and it hurt like hell. She thanked her lucky stars she and Derek had the day off. A soft knock at the door pulled her from her thoughts.

"Mer? You okay?" Derek called from the other side of the door.

"Yeah I'll be done in a minute." She replied, reaching for a tampon. Meredith finished her business and washed her hands, her uterus complaining at every slight movement. She practically collapsed in Derek's concerned arms when she opened the door. His hands find her lower back and she practically melts into him as he takes some of the pressure off her back.

"You okay?" Derek asked into her hair and all Meredith can do is moan in response. "Come on." He whispered guiding her back to their bed. He helped her into bed, he ping steady pressure on her back. He tucked her in before disappearing. She can hear him banging around in the bathroom, but she's to miserable to care. She does off and when she woke up next, Derek was placing a heating pad over her midsection.

"You know sometimes, I appreciate the fact that you have four sisters. I don't really like that I have to meet them all but the fact that periods don't freak you out is nice." Derek chuckled from behind her. His hands run up her back gently and Meredith can feel herself relaxing.

"You know," Derek whispered "when I imagined spending the day in bed, this isn't exactly what I had in mind."

"I'll make it up to you in 5 to 7 days, promise" Meredith smiled. Derek nuzzled into the back of her neck.

"I love you."

"I love you too."


	7. During 8-10

_She's alive. She's alive. She's alive_

That had been my mantra for the past hour. There was just no way she could be dead. That's something I would know right? I'd know if the ambulance with her and Alex had blown up and she had been killed in the explosion. I'd just know if she were dead, not that I'm a religious person, but it just seems like there's be a shift in the universe if she were dead. EMS said there was one DOA but they didn't specify before they too lost connection. I paced the abandoned corridor of the hospital deep in thiught. All my thoughts were specifically Meredith. She could not be dead. We just haven't had enough time yet. I still have things I want to show her and stuff I need to say. She hasn't even met my entire family yet. I feel the tears begin to build and I quickly force them back down. I will not break down, not until I know for sure there is good reason. But I won't break down because MEREDITH ISN'T DEAD. Yet I still pace the hallway checking my pager constantly. Owen promised to page me when there was news but there hasn't been any news and it's driving me up the wall. I take a deep breath, and as I turn instead of continuing down the well paced hall I veer to the right and push through the double doors that lead back to the main hospital. I'm not sure where I'm going but I need to get out of my head. As I make my way to the central nurses' station my pager beeps. I pull it from my waistband. _EMS ETA 2M._ EMS is two minutes out. The truth is revealed in two minutes. Without even thinking, I reroute to the stairs and break into a run. I burst into the stairwell and take steps two or three at a time. I almost trip more than once but I keep running until I reach the ambulance bay. Owen, Arizona and Bailey are already there and I can hear the wail of the sirens in the distance. I rock back and forth on the balls of me feet in anticipation until finally the first ambulance pulls up. It's big and green unlike the ones I'm used to seeing but honestly it could be purple fir all I care as long as it doesn't roll Meredith out on a stretcher. The doors open and Alex hops out cradling the baby to his chest. There are no signs of Meredith but I take it as a good sign that Alex is unharmed. I desperately want to ask him about Meredith bur ge is whisked away by Arizona and the next ambulance pulls up. The paramedics jump out and a stretcher rolls out and I breath a sigh relief when I see a teenage boy on the gurney and not Meredith. The third ambulance pulls up and I hear her voice. It is strong and commanding which makes me feel a little better. Then she rounds the corner side by side with a stretcher and I almost collapse with relief. She's okay. I notice the cut on her forehead but it doesn't look serious. We lock eyes and a look of understanding passes between us. As she's about to pass my I grab her elbow and envelope her in my arms, burying my nose in her hair.

 _She's alive. She's alive. She's alive._


	8. Post 7-2

I almost want to scream when Meredith and I arrive home and Cristina is on the couch. But when she turns her head and makes eye contact with Meredith I can tell that Cristina is broken and she needs Meredith more than I do in this moment. I nod to Meredith and head upstairs with my laptop and leave them to do their thing. I'm aimlessly surfing the Web nit even twenty minutes later when I hear the front door burst open and the rumble of Owen's low baritone giving ehat I assume is a well meaning speech. There's some shuffling downstairs and I hear the door close again and Owen's car backing out of the driveway. Meredith comes upstairs a few minutes later and looks absolutely drained. She changes quickly changes and drops into bed beside me.

"How's Cristina?" I ask.

"She's...I don't know." Meredith mumbles. She burrows down into the pillow so that her face is level with my hip. "I don't know."

"And how are you?" I ask. I shut my laptop and put it on my bedside table. It urn onto my side and lie down so we're facing each other. I rub her arm shoulder to elbow before she grabs my hand and intertwines our fingers.

"I'm tires." She mumbles. "And sad and angry and just..." She trails off and looks over my shoulder.

"What about physically?"

"I'm fine physically." She says. "My period returned past week so we're good to go." She sounds sad and she bites her lip.

"So the crying in the shower was more than just the raging hormones?" I tease lightly. She blushes and burows her head into the pillows.

"You weren't supposed to hear that." We're silent for a few moments until she peaks her head back out from the pillows.

"Are you okay?" Her voice is soft and gentle and it makes me feel warm and fuzzy.

" Yeah I just...I wish you'd told me sooner." I roll onto my back and stare at the ceiling. She only nods beside me.

"I'm sorry. I just didn't know how to tell you." Her voice is shaky but when I turn to look at her her eyes are dry. I wrap my atm around her shoulder anyway.

"It's okay I understand." I whisper. We fall into silence again.

"That's why April was there instead of me when you woke up." She says softly. "I was at the clinic getting a D&C."

"Oh"

"Yeah" Her voice is quiet and I feel her roll onto her back as well.

"I'm sorry about the reckless driving." I offer.

"Thanks." Suddenly within me the dam breaks and I feel tears stinging the back of my eyes. I roll over and wrap my arms around her torso and bury my face in the side of her head.

"I love you." I tell her as the tears start to fall.

"I love you too." She says as she embraces me. I cry on her shoulder.

"It's going to be okay." She soothes.

"Why aren't you crying?" I wonder aloud.

"I've cried enough over this." She says softly.

That should've been the first red flag that everything was going to fall apart.


End file.
